Surviving the First Day: This Clueless Mama's Nursery Adventure

As we near the end of October and prepare for the clocks to "fall back" we can find ourselves in that happy middle between seasons. The place where the days once packed with activities and adventures slowly come to a close. Kids go back to school and the trees transition from fresh green to hues of amber and red before they begin to fall. Autumn has always been my favourite season, the crisp air, the added layer of warmth and all the cosy luxuries that are set aside since the previous winter can once again be enjoyed.

This year however I have found myself on parent autopilot. We started our little one in nursery in September and it has all but consumed me. In the days leading up to the start date I busied myself with shopping and organising - buying all the essentials and then talking to my son every day telling him that he is going to go to nursery to play and make lots of friends.

I understood that he would be upset the first few days as he adjusted to the change but what I wasn't prepared for was the look of pure terror on his face. The sheer panic and dread he displayed when I had to leave without him. I wasn't prepared for the pain in my heart as it was breaking in two when I walked away from my crying boy and I wasn't prepared for the guilt and how that mom guilt would consume me entirely. I was a shell of myself for the first two weeks, just going through the motions praying that every day it would get easier and he would start to enjoy himself.

I had countless conversations with my sister and family and other parents who have been through it, all wearing the same proud parent badge, each offering snippets of advice and all saying the same thing, "one day he will just run in and he wont look back", at the time that seemed like a moment so far out of my reach.

However, five weeks later out of the blue, he walked in the door of nursery and waved me off.

Stunned, speechless and stumbling over myself, I stood there gaping as the door shut behind him.

I wasn't prepared for the change, still expecting the tears but they never came and thankfully haven't surfaced since that day. My boy almost overnight changed from my baby to a toddler.

He is thriving at nursery, exploring and experimenting, demonstrating his new skills and independence everyday to his proud mama.

I am very grateful for all the support and advice offered as we all adjusted to our new normal and I am so proud of my little man and of myself for sticking with it and persevering through the turbulent period.

Now I intend on enjoying the next few weeks of this glorious season before we head into the magical chaos of christmas and my boy turns two.

This mom train is a wild ride!

Xx